When anyone asks me, “So how is it, working for Samaritans?”, I usually respond with a cheerful, “Oh, I really enjoy it!”.... Before the words have even dropped out of my mouth, I already have a sense that the person asking the question is going to raise their eyebrows and be a wee bit surprised by my answer! However, if I’m being totally honest, that really is how I feel.
Last night, after leaving the house at 10, I really did enjoy spending 4 hours in the wee duty room; blethering to my colleague, catching up on some SAMS reading material, answering the phones and just being there for callers. I also enjoyed the drive home; I love that middle-of-the-night thing of belting out my favourite playlist to a deserted (give or take the odd Eddie Stobbart lorry) M9! And, because the house was baltic when I got home, I thoroughly enjoyed crawling in beside - and getting a sleepy hug from - a very cosy Alex!
According to my big Chambers dictionary, the definition of enjoy is: “to find pleasure in something; to experience, and have the benefit of, something good”.
So, I guess that settles it then; I really do very much enjoy being a Samaritan.
Lovely, Jane! The secret of being a great volunteer is loving what you do - even when it involves poignant work. You are making a huge difference to the lives of everyone with whom you speak. What's not to love about that?
ReplyDeleteIt's the most common reply I hear on what you get out of being a Samaritan volunteer - enjoyment. And let's face it, if we didn't get something out of it we wouldn't be doing it. No-one is so completely altruistic that they take nothing away from what they are doing, even if the rest of the world sees it as a selfless activity. I find it more difficult to cope with people who attribute to me selfless attitudes which I do not in fact possess.
ReplyDeleteHave I got it wrong? Or is the whole point of Samaritan listening that for many people, your motto: "Because surely there's at least a little bit of something good in every day?" is simply not true? The often very desperate people who call Samaritans have no good anywhere in their lives, and we have to acknowledge that and allow them to suffer. It is this freedom to let them see their pain and for us to accept it that marks us out quite distinctively. There is often not anything good to look forward to, and we should not be afraid to go with callers on that journey.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's very true. We do not try to press the "up-beat" button - we accept the caller's pain, and that is often the hardest thing to do. It is almost intolerable to acknowledge a caller's desperation, but that is what we do; no-one else will do it, and it is not our place to "cheer a caller up."
ReplyDeleteBobbie
I don't know that Jane is guilty of this, but it is a common phenomenon for volunteers to try and "look on the bright side." That is definitely a no-no as far as I am concerned.
ReplyDeleteAlan
And where exactly do you stand on self-disclosure, Jane?
ReplyDeleteTom
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to comment on my wee blog.
ReplyDeleteNicky: just couldn't have said it better myself!
Anon 1: I do agree; though what I was trying to get across wasn't so much the point that folk see it as a selfless activity, it's more that some folk maybe think the word 'enjoy' isn't the most appropriate. I was really just mulling that thought over and 'enjoying' coming to the conclusion that it absolutely is an appropriate word to use!
Anon 2: this kind of threw me a bit, to be honest! The sub-title of my blog isn't really my 'motto' as such! If you have a wee read of my profile, you'll see that when I decided to write a blog I decided to give it a theme of writing about some of the good things that happen in MY life. So, it's all about me looking for something good in my life every day - because I personally sincerely believe that I can find something good in every day! Now, that doesn't mean for one minute that I think that applies to everyone else - and I certainly wouldn't dream of applying that to any single one of the callers I listen to. I have been, and will continue to be, there for callers on their journeys - no matter how desperate, dark or hopeless that journey may be and will continue to appreciate that they may have absolutely nothing good happening in their day.
Bobbie: couldn't have said it better myself! What I do here in my blog is not what I do when I walk through the duty room door.
Alan: I very much do 'look on the bright side' in my own personal life. However, when I'm listening, or supporting, anyone - be it as a SAM, friend or family member - I don't ever expect the other person to do the same.
Tom: I'm not quite sure what you're implying with your question?! I'm not sure if you're suggesting that I'm disclosing too much here, or suggesting that I disclose too much while I'm on the phones?!I don't ever disclose anything at all about myself while I'm there for either phone or email callers. Is that what you're asking? I'm open here on my blog about being a SAM, and explained my reasons for that in a previous post (http://jane-milne.blogspot.com/2011/09/ive-mentioned-few-times-that-i-do-some.html) I'm wondering if you're suggesting that I'm telling readers of my blog too much about myself as a SAM? I can only say, again, that callers wouldn't be able to connect me to this blog as I don't disclose anything about myself when I'm on the phones. Sorry if I'm not getting the right end of the stick?!
Sorry, I was being a bit frivolous. It seemed to me that perhaps you were giving away too much of yourself. But of course you're right - what you say here and what you say on the phone are two completely separate things. I should have kept my big mouth shut! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteTom
Not at all!! I really appreciate every comment made here - whether it's frivolous or not. Please don't keep your big mouth shut! And, thanks for the encouragement....are you a Tom that I know?!
ReplyDeleteHi pal, Absolutely this blog is just like you are with friends open,supportive, funny, direct and sometimes revealing. Your volunteer work, however, is held close to your heart, protected and certainly never revealed. What you are might get mentioned in your blog, because it is a part of your busy and hectic life, not what you say and do when you are volunteering.
ReplyDeleteYou enjoy what you do because you are able, quite simply, to be there at a time when someone is in pain and they do not have to bear it alone.
As my pal for many years I know, you know things can't always be mended, you can't always make people feel better but you can listen without judgment. Priceless which is what a volunteer is who enjoys what they do.
Your anon pal xxxx
As ever pal, your kind words and moral support mean such a lot to me! Thank you xxxxx
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ReplyDeleteLinda: Your post reminds me of the response I got from the scdt support nurse when I asked her what she 'enjoyed' about her job. I know I thoroughly enjoyed my time working with the Trust and I can completely understand why u enjoy what u do as a SAM... So worthwhile n rewarding xx
Me: Something about reading your comment and thinking about what you'll be doing on Sunday morning reminded me of the Vivian Greene quote: "Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain!" Will be thinking about you pal. Xx
Linda: That's a fab quote and I may well nick it n post it later! I reckon if I wait on the storms passing I may well have a long wait so dance in the rain I shall heehee! Yeah our hardy daffodil planters will hopefully be out in force on sunday morning... Regardless of what out autumn weather throws at us!!