Being lucky

Another busy week’s nearly over and, in the light of something that I was reminded of on Thursday, it wasn’t down to good luck that I had a good week; it was more likely because I’d been willing to explore new opportunities!

My pal Linda had asked me if I fancied going along to a Psychology Conference in Edinburgh. I didn’t have much time to look at the gumph but I said I’d go as (a) I’d noticed that one of the speakers had written one of my Open Uni text books (b) because I thought it would look good on my CV and (c) because even if the conference was rubbish, I knew I’d enjoy spending a day away with Linda! The idea that I might be inspired and thoroughly entertained had never even crossed my mind - but I was...and I had a blast with Linda into the bargain.

The premise of the conference was to enthuse and encourage folk not only to study psychology, but also to emphasise the importance of weeding out the ‘bad science’ approach. In other words, encouraging the psychologists of the future to properly test their theories and produce sound evidence to back up their conclusions. It was aimed primarily at A level students, so Linda and I fitted in perfectly well as we could easily have been one of the accompanying teachers...! We watched and listened to various presentations by some fairly eminent psychologists, all of which I thoroughly enjoyed, however my favourite - by far - was by Professor Richard Wiseman. Do you know the guy I mean? I’d heard of him, but couldn’t quite place him, then, when he started his first wee spiel, I thought I recognised him from the telly. Well, it turns out that he’s pretty well-known. He’s got a massive following on Twitter, Youtube and that kind of thing – but I think I recognised him from his time on ‘Tomorrow’s World’! (I know, I’m really showing my age here!)

Anyway, he’s really entertaining in the way that he presents his work – probably because he’s a magician and illusionist as well as a Professor of psychology. Some of Derren Brown’s latest batch of telly programmes, ‘The Experiments’ were actually based on Richard Wiseman’s research. It kind of bugs me that more emphasis isn’t placed on the fact that Brown’s ‘ambitious sociological experiments’ (his own words) are all based on hypotheses that have already been devised, tried, tested and proven in controlled experiments by qualified psychologists, before he decides to turn them into prime time glossy entertainment shows. But, I noticed that Professor Wiseman was an advisor to the production team, so I guess he must be OK with the way the programmes were presented – and I suppose they do introduce the ideas behind the research to a much wider audience.

Back to the conference; one of the presentations that Richard Wiseman gave on Thursday revolved around his experiments on ‘luck’. He’s scientifically shown that there’s not really such a thing as ‘good or bad luck’. The people who call themselves lucky are much more likely to be the kind of folk that’ll grab opportunities as they arise; they’ll go for it, try new things, take chances, have a wider view of what’s going on round about them (so are more likely to see opportunities that present themselves) and will have more of a ‘cup-half-full’ approach to life. There obviously has to be some element of chance involved, but he showed that you can significantly increase those chances if you have a more positive state of mind, be more sociable, live in the moment and grab any opportunities you do encounter. I just thought it was brilliant to witness someone getting across to a young, impressionable audience - in not only an engaging and entertaining way but also backed up with hard evidence - the merits of not sitting on your ass waiting for good things to happen to you, or doing the opposite and being too focussed on one long-term goal.

I definitely got my attitude of ‘try to make the most of what’s going on around about you at the moment, and the future is more likely to be brighter’ from my Dad. Which is a bit ironic as I was ‘unlucky’ enough have my Dad snatched away from me by a heart attack when he was only 57 years old. But, one of the things that’s always given me a bit of comfort is the knowledge that my Dad made the most, and looked on the bright side, of most of his days. Even the shitty ones. He always tried to look for the positive slant on things; he was usually cheery and he taught me that life’s very much what you make it. If you’re not happy with the way things are in your life, try to change them. Now, I know that’s a bit simplistic and idealistic, and there can be a whole stack of reasons why it’s not easy to do that. I’m certainly not brimming with happiness every moment of every day, and sometimes it’s really difficult to see the silver lining. But, it’s something I aspire to do – and it’s something I’m delighted that my kids seem to have grasped. I love that they all try to make the most of what’s going on at the moment. They don’t let the long-term goal get in the way of enjoying the present day (at least they try not to). It’s like that common ‘pushy parent’ thing. If you keep harping on at your kids that they have to be the best in school, or in their sport, or in their dance class or whatever, they might well accomplish all of those things; but they’ll probably have a pretty miserable journey on the way - and will probably still be miserable once they’ve reached those goals. On the other hand, if they’re leading well-rounded lives, being sociable, being praised for making an effort and finding new things that make them feel good, they’re possibly more likely to succeed – maybe not in the thing that their parents wanted them to, but they’ll hopefully continue to be generally happy.

Oh dear, this post has turned into a bit of a dis-jointed ramble, but I actually find it quite difficult to put it all into words! I think I’m basically saying that Richard Wiseman’s presentation was brilliant because he stood in front of me and expressed what goes on in my head when I think of my ideal way of approaching life. Try to make the best of it – it can be really crap sometimes, through ill-health, losing someone we love, losing a job, running out of money, ocht, a whole multitude of things – but, if we can somehow manage not to give up, and be open to any new opportunities that might come along, all the shitty things might just be a wee bit easier to deal with – we’ll hopefully experience a change in our luck! It won’t work for everyone, or every situation, but it’s the way I like to try to be. There are times that I do find it hard to see the sunshine through the rain, and at those times good family and friends (or anyone else that can lend an empathic ear!) can be invaluable. But, just as Richard Wiseman has proved beyond doubt, optimism plays a vital role in turning things around and most of us do have the ability to change our mindset. If you go looking for a change in luck, you’re much more likely to find it.

Anyway, where’s that lottery ticket I was filling in earlier......