having a good day, just in case...

I opened an email this morning (one of these 'Notes from the Universe' thingies) that started:

"What if today was your 'last day'...?"

Ocht, it made me feel so sad. You see, this day, twenty one years ago, was my Dad's 'last day'. 

He had no idea, and neither did anyone else (whether the universe did or not is a matter for wider debate...!) that it was his last day. Thankfully, it happened to be a day spent at home with his family all around him. It was just another Sunday. Mum made a roast, and me and my brother and our partners and our kids were there. We all sat round the table, and blethered and laughed. And my Dad was so very happy. He always was when his family were round about him. It was just a normal family Sunday. 

Except, it wasn't. Because it was the last day we would spend with Dad.

He wasn't ill, he hadn't been ill, he was 57 and he was full of life. Except, he wasn't. 

The next day his heart packed in, all of a sudden, and away he went. He left us behind; shocked, devastated, heart-broken and so very sad. 

That email this morning made me feel sad, but it also made me think - as I've often done over the years - about how grateful I am that our last day with Dad was such a lovely one. I'll never lose the pain of losing him so suddenly (it doesn't rise to the surface very often now, but when it does, it's just as sore as it was all those years ago). And I'll always feel cheated and angry and sad that he's not here. I'll always feel like it wasn't fair.

I would give almost anything for one more hug, or to see him smile one more time, or to hear him laugh (he had the most wonderful laugh). But, as ever, I just have to settle with reminding myself that I had 28 years with my Dad, and for that I'm truly grateful. I know I'm biased, but he was just such a lovely, lovely person - and he was just such a brilliant Dad. And I loved him so very much. 

I'm having a great day today; I've spent most of it with my wee Mum, I'm heading out for dinner later with Alex and one of my best friends, and I've had some sort of chat with all of my kids at some point or another (as is usual most days thanks to the wonders of What's App, texts and Facebook!). 

So, if this morning's email has got a point, and today is my last day, it's been a good one! 

On Dad's last day, he was full of life...just as he was every other day. That was just his way.

And, I like to think that - just like my Dad - most of us don't really need an email to remind us how important it is to make the most of every day...we just never know when it might be our last.

Reading my 'Real Life Story' (even though it wasn't written by me...)

I wrote to Women's Cycling magazine a few months ago to pitch an idea for an article. It was a bit of a long shot so I wasn't too surprised when Lara Dunn, the editor, didn't accept a suggestion from some middle aged wifey with no previous 'published article in a magazine' work to show for herself! 

All, however, was not lost as Lara did, instead, pass my details over to one of her staff writers - Jill Eckersley - who then contacted me to ask if I'd be interested in being interviewed for one of the magazine's 'Real Life Rider' story slots. It wasn't what I'd had in mind, but I did appreciate the gesture - and I saw it as a good opportunity to give Women V Cancer and Action for Charity a little plug!

I thoroughly enjoyed my blether on the phone with Jill, but I must admit that it was with more than a little trepidation that I opened the latest edition of the magazine today. I hadn't been able to proof read the article and I was a bit anxious about something appearing in print that wasn't quite as I'd said it. I'd also been letting my imagination run away with me and I was all psyched up for reading a 'Real Life Story' that would've been more at home in Bella than in a biking magazine!

However, I needn't have worried as Jill had written a good article and nothing more than my passion for cycling had been revealed! I did find it hard, though, to read something about me that's written in a style very different from my own. There were a few little errors (it's Sandhy not Sandy, and I cycled 32 miles not 24...not that I'm pedantic about my mileage...) and one slightly mis-leading comment (which seemed to imply that I devised the whole Women V Cancer Ride the Night event rather than just sign up to take part!!) but these were pretty minor points in what did turn out to be a pretty accurate piece. And, it did indeed give Women V Cancer and Action for Charity a nice little plug, for which I'm grateful to both Jill and Lara for. Every opportunity to raise awareness is a welcome one.

Ocht, I've also got to be honest and admit that it did give me a bit of a buzz to see my ugly mug appear in the magazine! And, I'm still hopeful that if ever Lara's short of copy and fancies taking a chance on a middle aged wifey who's making the most of life - grabbing it by the handle bars with one hand and a pen with the other - she'll know who to call...!