the hospice staff singing my song

I’ve had a lovely past few days and I’m starting to feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

It started with Ross and Gemma arriving back from Uni for the holidays. Hooray! Gemma’s had a pretty mad time of it recently what with one thing and another and it’s great to have her home for a well-earned break after traipsing up and down to London for rounds of graduate placement job interviews followed by a difficult bunch of final year exams. Ross has his exams to come after the holidays, so he’s hoping to fit in a bit of studying amongst the festive frolicking...hm, well, that’s the plan anyway....!

And then there was Gordon’s school concert at The Church of the Holy Rude. What a great night! So many talented singers and musicians in such a beautiful setting. I’m obviously slightly biased but the Vocal Group’s performance was definitely one of the highlights of the concert! Here’s a wee clip of Gordo and friends doing their thing (the video-ing is rubbish, but it's more enjoyable with your eyes closed anyway!):

Sticking to the music theme, I had a really special and lovely time at the hospice's Day Care Christmas Party. I actually didn’t think I was going to manage along but I’m so very glad that I did. I’ve had to make some difficult decisions during this past wee while in connection with the music side of things at Strathcarron and have had to take a bit of a step back from being so involved with bringing basic music therapy to the hospice. I absolutely love working with the patients and their families and the staff and the musicians and the singers and the school groups and everyone else! And, I would love to carry on at the same level that I’ve been used to over this past 9 months or so. However, for various reasons, that's just not possible at the moment and I really do miss the work. Even more so, I really miss the people associated with the work.

Anyway, back to feeling all warm and fuzzy inside! A while ago I wrote a wee ditty to be sung at the Day Care Christmas Party. The party’s a really special occasion as it’s the only time of the year that all the regular day care patients and volunteers from each day get to spend time together. It means that the hospice is even busier, livelier and louder than usual with everyone all mingling in together to create a really special atmosphere. So, I thought it would be great to have as many staff representatives from as many of the different hospice departments as possible coming together to sing for the patients. With that in mind, I adapted The Twelve Days of Christmas and started to recruit members of staff to join in, allocating one of the days of Christmas to each department. So, the physio department was given the line ‘two legs to stretch’ and the medics were given ‘three chests to sound’ and the fundraising department was given ‘six cans to count’ and the auxiliaries were given ‘nine pans to empty’... I'm sure you're getting the gist of it! I’d really just started the process of recruiting the staff Christmas Party Choir when I had to reduce my time spent at the hospice, but I was delighted when one of the nurses took up the mantle and saw the project through to completion! This is how it turned out on the day (apologies for my rubbish video-ing skills again!):




Aw, I was so chuffed to see my wee idea come to life and - much more importantly - hear the patients laugh out loud, sing along and show their heart-felt appreciation to the staff with loud applause and cheers at the end. It was yet another favourite moment from Strathcarron to add to the list! 

You know, I'm keenly aware that this is the most difficult time of the year for many people. The cheery Christmas portrayed by adverts on the telly showing a stereotypical happy family with its stressed-but-always-happy-on-the-day mum, laid back jovial dad, two perfect children, doting grannies and wagging dogs couldn't, in reality, be further from the truth for many folk. Many folk, including some of my relatives and friends, will struggle to have a very merry Christmas. It might be because they're desperately missing someone or because they're desperately worried about someone, or because they're desperately ill or because they're just feeling generally desperate. There are a whole host of reasons why people dread Christmas. 

All of these bits and pieces over the past few days, along with some other bits and bobs, have got my festive season off to a lovely start and I'm so very lucky to be looking forward to a Christmas full of good cheer with my family around me. Yup, so much to feel good about, and so important never to take any of it for granted.

writing this...

I’ve had a funny past wee while, as far as my blog's concerned. I could easily have found something that made me feel good in every day - even the shittiest of days - but for some reason it felt like a bit of an onerous task to sit down, think about what was making me feel good then write a post. Regular readers might have got a sense of that from some of my comments over these past few months. And the lengthy delay between posts probably speaks for itself!

It would be easy for me to blame the lack of motivation to update my blog on being busy. Maybe I’ve just not had the time? I have been really busy; still volunteering at Strathcarron, still trying desperately to keep on top of work work, still doing coursework, still being a member of the choir (though not managing along as much of late), still being there for my family and still keeping up with the dirgy stuff like the housework etc (...only just...!). But, having said that, I’ve been really busy with one thing or another ever since I started writing the blog - whether it was volunteering, work work, some course or another, choir rehearsals and gigs, family things or all the other stuff – and I can’t really remember a time during this past two years when I’ve not been busy. So, I can’t blame my lack of motivation for writing here on not having the time. No matter how busy I was, I used to regularly make the time to write my wee blog.

It might be that I’ve become more disciplined in writing my personal journal. Keeping an up-to-date journal is, for me, a pretty essential part of the Post-grad diploma. I was hopeless at doing it during the skills course last year (maybe because I spent too much time writing blog posts instead?!) so this time I’m determined not to let my journal slip. I’ve got a really rubbish memory, so the more I jot down at the end of the day the better! Hm, maybe my blog-time has now become journal-time? But, writing a personal journal doesn’t give me anything like the same kind of pleasure that writing a post for my wee blog gives me. So, surely I’d still make the time to write my blog more regularly if that was it?

Maybe it’s because I’ve felt quite sad on quite a few more occasions than usual over this past wee while. I keep losing people, and things, and special people from things, and things that involved working with special people. Ocht, that probably doesn’t make much sense; it’s just that I’m wondering if feeling a bit sad recently has played a part in my lack of motivation to write here. But, there's definitely been plenty of good stuff mixed in with the sad - and there’ve been plenty of other occasions over the course of this past 2 years when I’ve felt sad about something but still felt keen to write a post for my wee blog. Nope, I don’t think that’s it.

Hm, maybe my wee blog is reaching its sell-by date this time. Maybe it’s run its course. Maybe there isn’t any one particular reason why I haven’t felt like writing a post. Maybe I’m over-thinking it! When I’ve toyed with shutting up my blog shop in the past, good friends and loyal distant followers have been kind enough to say that they’d miss it if it was gone. Is that it? Do I need some kind of positive feedback every now and again to help motivate me to continue? Ocht, I’m disappointed with myself for even considering that to be the reason. I'm not looking for sympathy, empathy, or for my blog posts to be praiseworthy, creditworthy or any other kind of -thy! I’ve said right from the beginning that the purpose of the blog was simply to encourage me to write, without getting hung up on the technicalities, about things that made me feel good. It wasn’t to create a popular piece of prose! I’m touched that I touch some people in some way or another with some of the things I write - but that should never be the sole reason for me keeping on with my blog. It should always be something I do to make me feel good. Writing this, right now, is making me feel good. Making readers feel good too is a glorious added bonus.

I think I might just have answered my question. 

Ocht, it's so simple. There doesn’t need to be a time-limit between posts, and I shouldn’t get so hung up on reasons why I haven’t felt like writing a post. It doesn't matter! Sometimes I'll have the time or motivation to write here, sometimes I won't. Jeeso, I don't know why I was making such a big deal of it!

There we go; I’m definitely not ready to say goodbye to my wee blog and lose yet another thing that makes me feel good! Decision made: this wee blog’s here to stay for another wee while yet. 

And, dear reader, if you've managed to stick it out till the end of this post - well done! I'm going to leave you with a song. It's really in tribute to one of my best choir buddies (you know who you are and I'm going to miss you SO much!), but it also just seemed like a nice wee song to finish off my ramblings tonight. See you ..... sometime soon!