A bit of 2011 reflection

So, did I manage (√) or not (X) to achieve the things I was aiming for in 2011? Let’s see, in no particular order I was aiming to:

1. Get fit again - X
Failed miserably. Will try again this year. Must stop feeling sorry for myself because I had to give up running. It’s been over three years now – come on, get a grip woman! Get on your bike, get your walking shoes on, get in the pool, get off your arse!

2. Start training towards becoming a fully accredited counsellor - √
After years of toying with the idea, finally took the first step on the road to finding out if counselling’s really for me as a profession by starting the COSCA Counselling Certificate course. Module One: completed successfully with Rowan Consultancy at their Dunblane training centre along with a great bunch of fellow students. Made a special friend for life. Module Two: completed successfully at Stevenson College in Edinburgh, but intensely disliked the way the course was run. Got to know a new bunch of students, some of whom went on to become friends. Learned a lot - from the dreadful tutor - about how not to behave as a counsellor. Module Three: completed successfully with Rowan Consultancy at their Perth training centre. Met yet another new bunch of students and learned a lot - from the excellent tutor - about how to behave as a counsellor. I’m looking forward to starting Module Four next week and hope to be finished by mid-February and be awarded the full Certificate. That’ll be the first step towards accreditation in the bag. Next step – possibly the Postgraduate Diploma at Strathclyde Uni, if I’m successful in my application to the full-time course.

3. Complete some more Open University modules - √
Did lots of mumping and moaning when it came to assignment time, but I miss the essay-writing now that the modules are finished! If I don’t get on to the Postgrad Diploma course, OU here I come again!

4. Keep on top of work work - X and √
Failed miserably at keeping the office tidy; sometimes I was on top of work work, sometimes I was way behind. But, everything that needed to be done got done. That’s an overall tick in my book! Aiming to gut the office this year, keep it tidy and always be on top of work work...

5. Qualify as a Samaritans volunteer - √
Every moment of the long training program was worth it to end up in the privileged position of being trusted by callers - who are often deeply distressed - as they share their deepest fears and feelings. Along with every other SAM, this year I’m again aiming to play a part in reducing the number of deaths by suicide and, in turn, reduce the number of families who are deeply affected by the aftermath of a suicide.

6. Do more at the Hospice - X
Kept up my voluntary reception duties at Strathcarron, but never did manage to fit in the Bereavement Counselling training. I’m still waiting to hear if I’ve been successful in my application for a part-time placement at the Hospice through Vodaphone’s World of Difference scheme. Will hopefully know one-way-or-the-other by mid-January. Expect a very grumpy post if I get knocked back!

7. Stop listening when folk tell you you can’t do things - √√
Managed more than ever before not to let any porcupines spoil my party. I’m definitely getting better at following the ethos that I’ve brought my kids up with. It goes something like: “If someone laughs at you, or mocks you, or tells you you’re not capable of doing something, do it anyway. You’ll gain something just by giving it a go. Go looking for the things that you think’ll make you happy, don’t sit still and wait for them to find you. Your life will be so much better for doing that.”

8. Find a singing group in Stirling - √√√
After years of looking, found THE singing group in Stirling! This time last year I’d never even heard of The Heart of Scotland Choir. Now, it’s a big, big part of my life. I love it. I love the people that make up the whole choir family, I love Monday night rehearsals, I love the gigs and I simply love that something I love to do but have really only been doing in the shower or at parties for the past thirty years has become something I now do regularly here, there and everywhere! I’m so looking forward to more of the same this year!

9. Write more often - √
Even managed to get a little article published in the Samaritans News! Not quite Pulitzer Prize material, but we all have to start somewhere....! This year, yet again, I’m aiming for a proper published article. This is a good example of “it may never happen, but it’s all good as I’m doing something I love to do in the ‘trying’ process!”

10. Get thin again – X
Failed miserably. Must try harder! Have started the year off, a bit hypocritically, by starting on one of these ‘cut out the carbs’ diets. I’ve always been really critical of any method for losing weight that doesn’t just involve eating less and doing more. Sod it. I’m desperate!

11. Be happy - √ and X
It’s not possible to always be happy; let’s face it, life can be really shit sometimes. This year there’ve been times I’ve been worried, angry, stressed or sad. In the words of that famous old geezer Carl Jung, “There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” Still, that doesn’t mean we can’t aim to be happy. So, I’m looking forward to another year of looking for the things that I think'll make me feel happy.

Definitely more ticks than crosses - that'll do for me. Right 2012, let's see what you've got to offer......

Writing my hundredth blog post

I don’t often write here about my work work - or ‘what I do for a living’ work - because it’s, well, pretty mundane really. For the past twenty odd years I’ve ‘done the admin’ for our wee business while Alex and the lads have done all the difficult, demanding, and hard work. Don’t get me wrong, I know my job’s essential for the smooth (or not so, at times!) running of the business - keeping up with the paperwork, paying the wages, doing the VAT (yeuch) etc, etc – but it’s never been quite enough, and I always knew that when the kids grew up I’d need something else.

There’s a common misconception that if you work from home you don’t do a ‘real’ job. I learned a long time ago that it’s better just to laugh along with folk - who make jokes or playful digs about the fact that I work from home; most of them insinuating that I sit around all day drinking coffee, twiddling my thumbs, watching the telly or going out for long lunches – rather than try to explain what I do actually do. I used to find the jibes a wee bit hurtful, but when I accepted that it doesn’t really matter what other folk think, I also accepted that I should never feel undervalued. (Incidentally, just for the record, I don’t ever sit around all day drinking coffee, twiddling my thumbs and watching the telly, but I do hold my hands up to sometimes enjoying a long leisurely lunch!) I’ve been incredibly lucky to have a job that’s allowed me to suit my hours around the kids while they were going through all their different ‘growing up’ stages; I’ve been there for all their different activities, for running them around, and I was usually at home (sitting in the office, but still at home) at the end of their day to listen to all the chit-chat after their school bags and shoes had been chucked off.

So,  although my work work’s pretty mundane, it’s suited me, and it’ll continue to be part of my life for as long as we have our own wee business (and that’ll probably be until Alex is very old or getting carted off site in a box!). However, instead of now fitting work work around the kids and their activities, I’ve reached the stage where I’m fitting it around my own activities. Over the past while I’ve completed several Open University modules and a couple of COSCA modules, I’ve started working in a couple of new voluntary roles and have gradually been doing more writing. This blog was a product of advice given on one of the OU courses: "writing a blog will encourage you to write more often without getting too hung up on the technicalities of what you're writing" - and here we are, one hundred posts and over six thousand views later! I’m really enjoying the whole process of - in typical mid-life fashion - ‘finding something else’, especially as I’ve met some really interesting people, made some great friends and found a whole new family (in the shape of a choir!) along the way.

I’m hoping that all of this, sometime in the near future, will lead to something that’ll have some sort of financial benefit attached; further education courses are great from a personal fulfilment and development point of view, but they’re also a bit of a drain on the old coffers! However, whatever I end up doing, it’ll have to be something that allows me to carry on doing my work work for Impressions in Stone – and, of course, will hopefully be something that allows me to carry on partaking in the odd very long and very leisurely lunch!