A fond wee nod to Laurie....

Ross is away, walking the West Highland Way, with one of his pals at the moment. It’s absolutely baltic in Scotland  – the coldest Easter on record seemingly – so their plan to camp for the duration of the walk was chucked straight out the window after a freezing cold, and sleepless, first night in their little tent! Well, I say little tent, it’s actually a pretty big and heavy 3-man tent and for the past 3 days they’ve been lugging it along the Way for no good reason as they’ve spent the past 2 nights in a Bothy and a Youth Hostel! So, during a quick check-in chat with Ross on the phone last night, I told him to leave the tent at the reception of the Hostel before they set off on their next leg today and I’d take a run up to Crianlarich to collect it – along with any other gear they didn’t need – after they’d gone. I could not have picked a better day for the drive. It was absolutely glorious! Baltic outside mind, but the sun was shining and the snow was gleaming and the hills were magnificent. Yup, Scotland was looking her resplendent best!

And not only was it a great morning for soaking up some fantastic scenery, it was a great morning for putting my ipod onto shuffle and giving it laldy to whichever tune happened to surface and blare out into the car! So, give it laldy I did for most of the journey – until one of our choir songs came on. I couldn't sing past the lump in my throat. You see, we lost someone very special from our Heart of Scotland Choir family on Sunday. Laurie Hamilton - who became fondly known as our Choir Dad - died peacefully at home on Sunday morning after a long, hard fight against cancer. He was a lovely, lovely man and his family are absolutely devastated. He had so, so much more still to give.

Laurie was well known and well loved by many, many people - he was an extremely talented musician, a highly-respected teacher of music, a gifted photographer and had many other strings to his far-reaching bow. Much will be written, or spoken, about Laurie by the many folks who have known him for far longer than me and by folks who know much more about his colourful and influential life than me. But, I couldn’t let this post go by without giving my own special mention to our very special Choir Dad.

Laurie became known as our Choir Dad mainly because most of his ‘real’ family make up the back bone of the choir. Laurie himself played the bass guitar in the Choir’s band; Annie and Jane - the choir’s founders and leaders - are his daughters; Ray, Alexis, Colin, Leonie and Josh - members of the choir and the Junior Chorus - are his wife, daughter, son-in-law and grand children respectively; Steve - the choir’s drummer - is his son; and David - the choir’s chief baby-sitter, sometimes photographer, and general supportive back-up - is his son-in-law (and also a talented bass player). It really is a family thing. So, Laurie became known as our Choir Dad and Ray is fondly known as our Choir Mum. But there’s more to it than that....

I remember this one time we sang at a charity event in The King Robert Hotel in Bannockburn. I think it was only the second time that I’d had to sing a wee solo verse and I remember absolutely bricking it. To make matters worse, we were singing in a busy, bustling bar and we had no microphones. The guy that was supposed to bring the mikes just didn’t turn up. However, as is always the case, Annie just got on with it and, with hearty encouragement, told us to do the same. I was so nervous not being able to hear myself sing and I was sure I would be as flat as a pancake! But, fortunately, sitting in amongst the hustle and bustle of the audience was Laurie; looking, as ever, calm and collected as he watched over his granddaughter with one eye and his choir family with the other. Then it came to my wee bit. As I started to sing, feeling quite sick, I glanced over at Laurie and he gave me a tiny little nod. Just a teeny wee nod of the head. And that was enough. I’ve got absolutely no idea if I did sing as flat as a pancake – and no one could hear us soloists anyway, so it didn’t matter! – but that wee supportive nod of the head was enough to settle my nerves and let me relax enough to actually enjoy belting out my verse! And I guess that kind of sums up how I’ll always remember Laurie: looking over his families - both his real one and his choir one – with love and lending his gentle but strong support and encouragement wherever and whenever it was required. I can think of many moments where I saw him looking on with pride – and sometimes a tear in his eye - as his wife, or daughters, or son, or sons-in-law, or grandchildren performed beside him or in front of him. He’ll be sorely missed by all of us in the choir, but that will be nothing in comparison to the sadness and heart ache that Ray, Steve, Alexis, Jane, Annie and the rest of Laurie’s very special family will have to bare. 

I think I’ve said it before, that writing a post about something so terribly sad on a blog called ‘What’s making me feel good today’ might seem a bit strange and out of place.  But, taking a moment or two to think about how lucky I am to have known Laurie – even it was for a relatively short time – makes me feel good amongst the sadness. Sharing our memories can be painful, but also comforting, and it’s my hope that sharing my little special memory of Laurie just might, just maybe, go some way to making his lovely family feel a wee bit good too, even in the darkest of their days. As I said before, mine will only be a tiny story in the multitude of memories that will be shared and cherished over the coming days; hopefully all of them combined will help give the family some comfort, and even some smiles and laughter, in the difficult times ahead.

So, with the sun streaming through the windows, surrounded by our beautiful Scottish scenery, I swallowed the lump in my throat and sang along to one of my favourite choir songs today. And, with a wee tear in my eye, I gave a fond little nod to Laurie – and did my very best to hit every note of the song on the head...

Taking the good with the sad

I’m finding it frustrating that I don’t have as much time to write as I used to, and I’m wondering if now would maybe be a good time to take a break from writing my blog altogether. That thought doesn’t make me feel good, because I enjoy writing my wee blog posts, but I feel annoyed with myself when too much time passes between posts. This past week’s a good example. There’s been so much to write about that would’ve been perfect for a ‘What’s making me feel good today’ spiel, but I’ve not had the time to jot any of it down.

Tracey and Dave’s wedding last Saturday is a case in point. Aw, it was such a glorious day, from start to finish, and I would’ve loved to have written about it. The weather couldn’t have been better – the sun was splitting the heavens – and the conservatory of the Stirling Management Centre (where the wedding was held) was bathed in sunshine. Tracey was absolutely stunning – as was the whole wedding party, but with none being a patch on our beautiful bride – and she smiled from the moment she walked down the aisle with her very proud Dad till the moment I last saw her that day; sitting in the bar with her husband in the wee small hours (the last to leave the party!). The ceremony was just lovely and I managed to read my poem without stumbling on any of the words! Hooray! It seemed to go down well; Tracey and Dave loved it and that’s really all that mattered. Drinks and canapés out in the sunshine, followed by a few more drinks in the bar, preceded the speeches and meal. Aw man, the speeches were so emotional. Tracey’s Dad, Brian, was really nervous but that didn’t detract at all from how very proud he was of his gorgeous wee Princess (who’s now in her thirties but will always be his gorgeous wee Princess!) and how very happy he was about welcoming such a great son-in-law to his family. Dave’s speech was awesome. His emotions were almost tangible; I felt like I could reach out and touch the love that was spilling out of him as he spoke. It was so, so lovely and a real privilege to be there; it’s not often you witness folk being so honest and real about how they feel – especially when it meant that the Best Man won the ‘will he/won’t he cry’ bet hands down! The Best Man (Darryl)’s, speech was great too and the overriding theme from everyone who spoke on the day was just how ‘right’ Tracey and Dave are for each other.  They’re actually just meant to be...   Dancing, more food and drink, good fun with good friends and lots of laughs followed before we finally hit the sack in the wee small hours. Ocht, it was just very special and it left me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside!

So, that’s one thing that I wanted to write about but couldn’t find the time. One of the other things was a visit from one of my choir friends to the hospice. Mair, who plays the flute beautifully, came along to Day Care and totally wowed the patients and staff. I’m absolutely kicking myself that I didn’t video any of it; you’ll just have to take my word for it that she was awesome. Not only did the patients enjoy listening to Mair play flute, they also thoroughly enjoyed listening to her sing. One of my other good friends from choir, Cara, is working on a student placement at Strathcarron at the moment so we got together with Mair and sang a few songs. Aw man, we had such good fun – and I think the patients and staff enjoyed it too! I’m still loving working at the hospice and trying to keep the music initiative going as much as I can. There are only so many hours I can commit to as a volunteer though, so I really need to work harder at getting more volunteers on board. Problem is, I enjoy doing it so much and don’t really want to give too much of it up! I can think of worse problems to have!

The other thing I didn’t find time to write about was a trip to the theatre with Alex and Gordon. I’ve written before about how proud we were of Gordon for doing so well in his exams and this wee trip was his ‘Well Done’ pressie. You’re maybe thinking we’re a bit weird; most kids get money these days when they do well, but I prefer to give a ‘thing’ that the kids will remember as a symbol of how proud we are. Whether it’s a book, a trip, a meal out, or whatever; it’s something that they’ve either chosen or that we know is something special that they’ll enjoy. Gordon loves going to the cinema and the theatre, so he chose to go see Phantom of the Opera at the Playhouse in Edinburgh. The three of us had a great night out, Gordon absolutely loved the show, and I just love that we share a passion for the musicals. Phantom’s one of Alex’s favourites too, so it was a big thumbs up all round!

Of course, as with most weeks, I had to take the bad or sad along with the good, but this week had a particularly sad edge to it as a special relative of mine died. I don’t want to write anything much about it now, but I think it’s important to highlight the fact that just because I write posts on a blog called ‘What’s Making Me Feel Good Today..?’ it doesn’t mean that things don’t happen that make me feel bad or sad. It wouldn’t be real life if that was the case, would it?

Well, there we go, after saying that I didn’t have the time to write about stuff that’s happened this week, I’ve written about stuff that’s happened this week! This was supposed to be a thinking-out-loud-helping-me-to-decide-if-I-should-stop-writing-my-blog kind of post. Ocht, maybe I’ll just leave all that for another day, a day when I’ve got a wee bit more time on my hands....

In the meantime, here’s a wee video of the poem I wrote and read out during the Wedding ceremony. I recorded this for Tracey and Dave before the wedding, so that we had the opportunity to change any part of it they didn’t like. Fortunately, they were delighted with it as it was. As you’ll hear, it’s definitely not Shakespeare, and it’s more of a wee ditty than a poem, but – just like all the other speeches that day – it hopefully sums up our lovely Bride and Groom. It’s called ‘Just Meant To Be’: