Making the most of my 'new' free time...

Well Hullo! It's been a while! I'd actually shut this wee blog down (some of you might have noticed?!) after my last post because I was wondering (yet again...) if putting so much chit-chat-from-the-heart out there on the internet was such a good idea. Especially while I was in Post Graduate training towards a career in counselling. However, things have changed! I've left Uni; I'm no longer in training and it's looking highly unlikely that I'll be working as a 'professional' counsellor any time soon. I'll definitely not be giving up my voluntary work as a counsellor (I enjoy and value it far too much), but that particular work doesn't require me to have the advanced training certificate or the professional accreditation that would follow on from completion of the course.

I don't think it would be appropriate to air all of the reasons why (after taking a lot of time over the summer months to mull it over) I've decided to leave Uni. I think it's suffice to say that I felt a bit let down by the training right from the start and - now that I have made the decision to leave - I'm feeling a bit like one of those squidgy balls that's been slowly squashed up tight inside a big hand during this past year and has suddenly been released to bounce back immediately into shape! I'm absolutely positive that I've made the right decision, even if that decision does mean I no longer qualify for student discounts in Top Shop or New Look...

Some folk might think I'm daft to give up on a course half way through when I've passed all the assignments and was on my comfortable way to being awarded the Diploma. But some aspects of the course just didn't sit well with me and I felt frustrated more often than I felt fulfilled. For me, one of the most important aspects of this particular style of training is a willingness to be (or a determination to aim to be) open and honest to ourselves about how we feel; not just on the day that we're at Uni, but as a way of living our lives. And that, ironically, left me with no choice but to leave! It just doesn't feel right to be qualified and accredited in something professionally when I've lost faith in some aspects of the training procedures for that profession.

One of the things that's making me feel really great about this big decision, to leave the course and a possible future career in professional counselling, is that it's freed me up to think about what's next on the agenda! I might spend some more time at the hospice, I can get work work back on track (...maybe...) and I've recently taken up cycling! Aw man, I absolutely love that and I've been enjoying blethering about it on my other wee blog. I'm also hoping to use some of my 'new' free time to be more disciplined about writing. Ramblings here, and on my cycling blog, don't count. I mean, they do count because I'm writing when I'm writing my blog posts, but they don't count because nobody's saying, 'Oh, this is good work, I'd like to publish it'  (am I making any sense whatsoever??!!) I'm flattered every single time someone makes a comment - either here or on Facebook or by email or face to face - about something I've written, but I still don't actually know if I'm capable of writing something that people would be willing to pay for! Maybe it's time to put a real bit of effort into finding out, instead of just wishing for it to happen.

So, I'm going to set myself a goal. Right now. I've decided! I'm going to aim to have something - even if it's just a teeny wee something - published by this time next year! There, now that I've said it out loud I have to put my mind to it and get on with it! I'm going to try to be a 'proper' writer with some of my free time. And the thought of that, dear reader, is making me feel really good today.