I’ll never forget the day I passed my test (many moons ago!).
As soon as I came home, my Dad handed me the keys to his beloved Cortina and
with a big proud smile on his face said “Away you go!” I drove off, chuffed to
bits, to my best pal Caroline’s house for a celebration coffee and chat. Then I drove home. With the handbrake on. All the way. (Cars were obviously built
differently in those days..!) I couldn’t figure out what the burning smell was
when I got out the car. It was a measure of the man my Dad was that he just
smiled, explained that I’d probably burned out the brake, then told me not to
worry about it. He told me that cars can be fixed, and the fact that I’d come
home safe and sound was the most important thing. Years later he told me that he was
screaming inside; “Noooo! My Cortina!!” But, it was more important to him that
I didn’t lose my confidence straight after I’d passed my test, and that’s why
he kept his cool.
Even after nearly 19 years, I still miss my Dad so very much and
I absolutely hate the fact that he’s not here to share in these special moments
in his grandchildren’s - or his daughter's - lives.
It’s hard to describe how I’m feeling as I go between pacing
around the house and sitting at the computer writing this. I feel very proud that
Gordon passed his test. I feel angry because the examiner was an eejit and took
the shine off Gordon’s success. I feel a debt of gratitude to Stuart Dormer;
driving instructor extraordinaire! I
feel anxious because Gordon’s now at the mercy of our dangerous roads. I feel
glad that he’ll now have more freedom and not have to rely on his auld maw and
paw, or his big brother and sister, or the limited local bus service to get him
from A to B. I feel a wee bit sad that another milestone’s been reached and
another of the apron strings has been well and truly severed. I feel proud of
the fact that I sat in the passenger seat beside all three of my kids for many
hours while they were learners and never lost my cool! And, although I feel sad
that my Dad’s not here to share in this moment, I feel extremely lucky to have
learned so much from him about the importance of keeping my own anxieties or
worries in check so that my kids can feel more confident. Alex's really good at that too, which helps when I sometimes slip.
Anyway, I’ve rambled on enough. Time to go look out the
window again, is Gordon home yet.....?!
Congrats Gordon! I too remember the great feeling when I passed my test - and the sense of freedom and independence when I got my first car (a wee Metro!). Loved the tale you told about your dad - so sweet! Especially with him being so calm on the outside about it all :-) At least the memories never go away, even if we don't have our loved ones around any more.
ReplyDeleteI have so many happy memories of my Dad Nicky, this is just one of many favourites!
DeleteI don't think any of us forget that first 'on your own' driving experience :)
Wow what a lovely story about your dad Jane! :) I remember my frst drive without my parents -with my little sister in the passenger seat -not only did they entrust me with their car but also with their youngest daughter! lol But what a sense of independence when I passed my test -I had the most lovely examiner ever. He chatted away about where he used to go fishing -put my right at ease!
ReplyDeleteAnd that's a lovely story too Mair! Gordon has now been trusted with a passenger; he collected his big brother from the pub the other night! I'm getting less nervous as the days go on..!
DeleteLovely story Jane! I'm now teaching my second to drive and we just now evaluated how it went today and decided what we would do differently tomorrow - like driving earlier in the day before it got so busy on the roads.
ReplyDeleteYour dad was a real champion that day...not letting on so you wouldn't lose your confidence. He sounds like a dad to be missing :) Congrats to Gordon!
Thank you Rebecca - and all the best with the driving lessons!
ReplyDelete